


Worlds Apart

by MusicalMassasinsXxx



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gwynriel, Light Smut, Love Story, Mates, Multi, Slow Burn, Spoilers, acosf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29637345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalMassasinsXxx/pseuds/MusicalMassasinsXxx
Summary: But when she looked back to the Shadowsinger, there was exhaustion in his eyes and maybe something else? Maybe it's what possessed her to say what she said next, she’d never said anything like this... ever. She regretted it the second it came out but she quietly spoke the words, “If you want a bit of peace and quiet,” they were standing too close now, “the library is the best place. Full of old scholars and dusty books, but quiet and peaceful.” When he didn’t say anything she continued once more, “And as a bonus you could help me with some of the work Nesta would normally do. I’m guessing you figured that Clotho gave her time off to spend with her mate.”orThe story of Gwyn and Azriel realising they've been falling for each other.(ACOSF SPOILERS! AZRIEL BONUS CHAPTER SPOILERS)
Relationships: Azriel/Gwyneth Berdara, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 45
Kudos: 161





	1. The library is the best place for some peace and quiet

Spring was in full bloom, the sun shining high above the velaris casting beautiful strands of gold, filtering through bright white clouds ahead. The true image of perfection for Gwyneth Berdara. She was just happy she could bare to be outside after everything. It had been a rough month after The Blood Rite but she realised she had two choices; Hide away or live up to her new reputation as one of the strongest warriors in History. Every day it was a struggle, to choose to be strong, to choose to stand against fear. Today she had woken feeling much more confident, she knew it might not last but she held on to that fighting spirit as long as it wished to linger.

In the weeks after their mating, Cassian had been reluctant to have Nesta train with anyone but him. She’d spat the word ‘Territorial’ in his face more than once but Gwyn knew Nesta was glad to have her mate to herself and not have the other females fawn over him. For there were indeed more and more females in their ranks after the victory claimed by the three Valkyrie warriors. Perhaps two dozen of them now stood in a beautiful sprawling field.

The area of land which the Valkyries now trained on was one of and probably the biggest gift The High Lord of the Night Court had gifted Nesta. What a day that had been.

_A week after the offical mating ceremony, when Nesta and Cassian had returned from the Day court, where they had decided to spend their honeymoon, Rhysand had arrived towards the end of the session and strode to his brother and sister in law. They all greeted with hugs and Gwyn was just happy to see that her friend was now getting on with the High Lord. “Not only did I wish to see you, and welcome you back but I have a gift for you.”_

_This was met with an Eye Roll from Nesta as she grinned and said, “Rhys I thought you promised no more gifts.”_

_“I did but this seems to fit both of our wants, and besides it’s getting a little cramped up here anyway.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

“I think I’d rather show you?”

The next thing we knew, we were stood in a beautiful field that apparently lay a few miles away from Velaris. When Rhysand had declared that it would be where the Valkyries could set up for training, Nesta had let out a shuddering sob. It was too kind. Gwyn didn’t know the full extent of why Nesta and the High Lord had rubbed each other the wrong way at first but the gratitude that lay in both their eyes was something to behold.

It now meant that more people had joined, some Illyrian females flew to train every few days, ladies of Velaris who wished to know more popped by to see too. Now there was a solid group of about 20 of them who wished to train, a mix of high fae, lesser fae and illyrian females all joined together to get stronger. To be stronger. A Few of the preistesses didn’t dare venture beyond the house but between, Nesta, Cassian, Azriel and few higher ranking noble Illyrians who had come to help them with basic skills, they could alternate, so that should the priestess' who wished to train at the house, still could.

Today it seemed that none of the Priestess had wanted to train because Azriel flew in a little after they had finished their warmups. Gwyn overheard him explain this to Nesta and Cassian who were stood in the corner in their own little training bubble, and when she saw Cassian nod towards her mumbling something aling the lines, _Emerie couldn’t make it today so Gwyn has no partner, you can Spar with her,_ she tried her hardest not to completley still at the idea of being alone with him. It wasn’t that she was scared of him or that he was the type of male to do anything untoward, just that, it had been months since winter solstice and that evening they had stood at the top of the house of wind and flirted? Could she call it flirting? She’d never had anything like it before, she’d never felt so comfortable talking to, well anyone, except Nesta and Emerie but they had become more like family. Distracting her from her train of thoughts he approached, “Hello, Gwyn.” He said clearly, the sunlight causing his blue siphons to appear almost as light as the blue sky above.

“Shadowsinger,” she said with a smile, “How are you?”

“I’m good, the Priestesses didn’t show up at the House today so I came to train with you guys.”

“Well that’s good because Emerie got caught up at Windhaven so now I have a partner.” She smiled

“Indeed.” She couldn’t read his expression, wasn’t sure if he was happy or dissapointed to train with her. Gwyn supposed that the word ‘Neutral’ had been used often to describe the Spymasters demeanour.

After Azriel asked if it was okay to train with her they fell into their natural Sparring stance. It was by no means the first time they had trained together, but the size of their new training area meant that everyone was a lot more spread out and it felt intimate. Strangley Intimate. But she had woken up and chosen to not be scared, so she would travel to the training field, and Spar with Azriel and feel that pleasant sting of excersizing.

Azriel let her land a few hits, but after a while she could tell that he wasn’t exactly focused, wasn’t as with it as usual. So she dared ask, “Are you really alright?”,

“I know it’s been barely a month since you won The Blood Rite and but It’s been 500 years since I won so forgive me if I’m not as sharp as I once.” He tried to chuckle, tried to pass it off as a joke but she kept looking at him like she knew there was more to say, “It’s hard to sleep or relax when you live with a mated couple.” He nodded his head to the far corner of the field to his best friend and new sister.

“Your dagger not keeping you company?” She said, the Joke seemed to delight him for a second before he too remembered that night, change the subject, she thought hastily, “Even nearly a month later, they can’t stay away from eachother.” She mused,

“Well for normal fae, the umm,” he coughed, Gwyn had never seen him stutter before, “the mating frenzy, as it were, lasts a week, a fortnight at most… but, this is Cass and Nesta, they’re hardly the best example of ‘normal’.” He smirked,

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, he still won’t let her train with anyone else, even me, too scared I’ll accidentally bloody her up.”

“Yes, my brothers excel at being over-protective,” Gwyn smiled remembering how Nesta had told her how the High Lord had put an obscene shield around his pregnant High Lady, “but as you can imagine, there isn’t much quiet right now.”

“I thought they moved to the opposite wing of the house?”

“Like I said, Nesta and Cassian are hardly an example of normality.” Gwyn didn't want to know what that meant. Perhaps they were louder than other couples or didn't care too much for privacy? She certainly knew Nesta had an affinity for making love to her mate on what ever surface was strong enough to hold them both, that is if those books Nesta had slipped her had anything to say about it. But when she looked back to the Shadowsinger, there was exhaustion in his eyes and maybe something else? Maybe it's what possessed her to say what she said next, she’d never said anything like this... ever. She regretted it the second it came out but she quietly spoke the words, “If you want a bit of peace and quiet,” they were standing too close now, “the library is the best place. Full of old scholars and dusty books, but quiet and peaceful.” When he didn’t say anything she continued once more, “And as a bonus you could help me with some of the work Nesta would normally do. I’m guessing you figured that Clotho gave her time off to spend with her mate.” 

“I couldn’t impose in such a refuge, the priestesses, I mean... you’ve, been through enough. You've all been through so much. I can’t claim it simply just to rest.”

“Something tells me Shadowsinger that you might need a bit of refuge too,” they were close enough that she found herself thinking that the outside world no longer existed, “and not just from Cassian and Nesta.”

“If it is okay with Clotho, I might just take you up on that,” He said with equal quiet. There was no offence in his eyes, rather something like awe? As if it was the first time someone had seen through him, and didn’t see him as a hulking brute or the Spy who did unspeakable things to the Night Court’s enemies but as a person. She’d never seen him look that vulnerable, even that winter Solstice night, “and of course I’ll help you with the workload, it would be my pleasure.”

Without a second thought, they got back into position and carried on training as if the world hadn’t just stopped turning for them to talk. She’d never spoken to anyone like this but Azriel was- Azriel was different and he made her feel safe. Made her feel like a person. After they’d finished and he walked once more to his brother, she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

——

The Library. He thought as he walked towards Cassian. His shadows did love it down there and helping Gwyn with the books might be a pleasant distraction from… everything else. Gwyn had been wearing the necklace that he gave to her, or kind of gave to her. Regardless it made him weak in the knees to see how proudly she wore it.

He was so stupid, why did he think that was a good idea, Gods forbid Elain ever saw her wearing it, Gods forbid Gwyn found out that he had gifted it to her best friends sister and when she had clearly rejected it, rejected him did he decide he would give it to her. The idea of her thinking that he thought of her a second best made him sick to his stomach, he should have bought her a new necklace or something else that Gwyn would’ve liked. Not some confusing cryptic item of Jewelery that he didn’t even want to think about what the meaning of it was. Too many thoughts were going through his head, his shadows basically panting trying to catch up with his mind. Still your mind he told himself. Be like the Valkyrie he told himself, he had been telling himself this quite often recently. He knew he’d never have the honour of fighting amongst them but he preffered their ways over the Illyrians, would choose them any day.

“You look awful.” His brother said as a greeting,

“For Cauldrons sake, its not my fault that you two fuck all the way through the night and keep me awake.” Shit. He’d become to agitated, he needed to work off the tension, Cassian could see it in his eyes too and didn’t hold an ounce of judgement and merely said, “You can pummel me as much as you want in the training ring back at the house.” Only gratitude lay on the Shadowsingers face. It was why he loved his brother so dearly, Cassian would never push or pry unless Azriel offered himself up. Nesta held onto her mate and glanced to Azriel before saying, “I might request that you don’t go completley wild,” Azriel raised his brows, “I’m speaking to both of you, I’d quite like to have my friend and Mate intact by the end of your brawl.”

His friendship with Nesta had been unexpected but the two got on like a house of fire and both delighted in causing Cassian to squirm. Azriel would recount Cassian's most embarrassing moments from the past few centuries and she would request the house treat Azriel like an honoured guest. The perfect compromise. 

As he turned to take off, he heard Cassian say to his mate, “I’ll see you after to finish what you started this morning.” Perhaps his trip to the library would be sooner than he anticipated.

——

Nesta collapsed onto Cassian’s broad muscled chest, revelling in the strength that lay beneath her. When Cassian had stalked into the private library, bloodied and bruised after his brawl with Azriel, Nesta had been at his side in a second, not because she was particularly worried he was dangerously injured but because the sight of him fighting had caused such a flutter she hadn’t been able to help herself retreating to their room and pleasuring herself, hard and fast. She claimed that she wanted to look after him, and he put up no objections as she sank to her knees before him. He'd known she’d pleasured herself too and he wouldn’t have been able to stay away from her if she hadn’t initiated it first. The house locked the doors so that no one would stumble in to find them, right in the middle of the library. After taking him in her hands, then mouth, where she had pushed him against the bookshelves and he had clung to the shelves, the wood groaning beneath his fingertips as she swallowed him; After that she had made him lay upon the burgundy rug and straddled his hips. Miraculously he hadn’t tried to flip them over, rather relished in the sight of his mate riding him with reckless abandon in a room where, if it weren’t for the house’s keen insitance on privacy, anyone could walk in. They had finished together, both spent and sweating.

They remained on the floor, Nesta curled into Cassian’s side, tracing the whorls of his tattoo as she mused, “Did you see Gwyn with Azriel today?”

“I already know what you’re thinking,” he huffed, rolling his eyes, “You think Gwyn would truly want a male after what she went through.”

“I don’t know, all I know is there was a moment when they looked at each other like,”

“Like how you and I sometimes look at eachother, as if no one’s there,” Nesta looked at him surprised, “I saw it too, Smartass.” he flicked her nose.

“I wasn’t surprised you noticed, I just didn’t know you could be so eloquent with your words.”

“I live to surprise you, Nesta Archeron.” She grimaced at that,

“What?”

“You know what, I’m not used to the fact that you took my name.”

“Nes, I told you, I didn’t exactly have a family name to give you.”

“Why didn’t you just take Rhys’ family name?”

“You’ve heard it, why would I want that.”

“You’re not wrong there.” Nesta Chuckled, and Cassian was distracted by her smile once more as he leant over and started kissing up her neck once more, “I thought you’d like the sound of Cassian Archeron.”

“Hmmm,” she hummed, “I’d like it a lot more if your were inside of me again.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me Archeron.” He made to move ontop of her, finally, but he stopped a hairs breath away from her lips and mumbled, “might I request you stay out of our friend’s love lives, you’re no better than Feyre when we first met.”

Nesta groaned but merely said, “I just wanted to thank him for being such a generous Chaperone these past few months.”

“He let me fuck you in every room of the house with barely an interuption.”

“I said he was generous, not that he was particularly good.” She let out a rare giggle,

“Show me what else that pretty mouth of yours can do.” He said with an almost growl. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she’d think about her friends but right now every thought had left her head as he kissed her as if she was the only thing that mattered. They were the only thing that mattered.

Tomorrow. She’d think about it tomorrow. Gods help them; Gwyn and Azriel were in for a whirlwind.


	2. Alone together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azriel and Gwyn spend some quality time in the library together. + Feysand fluff because I miss them.

Azriel took to the skies after their training session. It had been a week since Gwyn had generously offered him space in the library for peace and quiet and he had yet to take her up on it. Every training session he felt guilty that he hadn’t accepted. Clotho had also sent him a note to tell him that he was more than welcome to help with some of the work. Only his Cowardice stood in the way. So, he had stood away from her, on the other side of the field training with some of the Illyrian females who had flown down. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with Gwyn in fact it was quite the opposite. That beautiful female somehow made him feel special, made him feel like he wasn’t supposed to be hidden away. He found himself wanting to tell her things, about his day, about his life. But it was too much for him to bare. He’d never felt this way before. He needed to sort through his feelings before he did anything rash. 

At least Nesta and Cassian had become slightly better to live with. Either heeding his anger and being quieter or the more likely, they’d learnt how to put wards around their room to block out the noise. It would explain why Rhys had been up to the house recently. In addition to the visits from Rhys, Nesta had also been visited by Amren, to see if they might be able to identify any magic that still remained with Nesta. Any power they found would be insignificant to what she had once possessed but it seemed that Nesta still had, what Feyre liked to call, ‘everyday magic’. Moving objects and what not. Azriel was glad for this though, he had to admit that his shadows were certainly more at ease now he was no longer living with death. It still meant the House was bustling. And he might have had less privacy than ever before. He almost missed the days where it was just him in the House, everyone wanting to stay in the townhouse.

He’d considered it. Moving into that beautiful home, just a few streets away from the City centre. And it was certainly enticing. But - living there, living there alone, in a house that was meant to be a home, felt much sadder than tolerating all the noise. And deep down Azriel knew that no amount of quiet would stop the pounding in his own head.

As he soared over the Night Court, going nowhere in particular, he tried to sort through what was in his mind. _The Cauldron was wrong._ He shook his head. _How is it that two of my brothers are with two of those sisters yet the third was given to another._ Stupid words. As if he had any claim on Elain. As if that justified him pawing at her on solstice. _Yes._ She had said. Was it possible she wanted it too? He didn’t know. They’d acted as if nothing had changed between them in these months. Was it possible he was chasing an idea? That he had pursued her because she fit the pattern. _Two of my brothers are with two of those sisters._ He loved Elain, she had become family to him, but perhaps that was all it was. He felt sick. Thinking of her like this. She deserved more than to just be considered an option in his sick twisted fantasy of the future. She deserved someone who loved her, burned for her the way Cassian did for Nesta. The way he burned for-. He shut out the thought. It caught him off guard, so much so that he hadn’t realised he’d circled back to Velaris and was now aiming for the River house.

_Azriel._

Rhys said into his mind,

_What a lovely surprise -_

Azriel landed in the garden to the beautiful sight of his High Lord and High Lady with little Nyx. He was so happy for them. So happy for his brother who had endured so much pain and for his dear friend, Feyre who’d fought so hard for this life. Rhys sat with his back against the water fountain holding a book in one hand, Feyre curled into his side holding their son. Their perfect little boy who barely made a fuss these past few months. It was the picture of perfection and Azriel found himself yearning for the days he could do this with G-. Cauldron his thoughts weren’t holding back today.

“Azriel, how are you?” Feyre beamed.

“I’m fine.” Azriel said as he moved to sit on the bench near them, “How are you guys?”

“Nyx is keeping us up at night but we’re doing well.”

“You don’t have a nanny?”

“We do,” Rhys said, “but why would we not want to spend every second with him.” His eyes were glimmering.

“Do you want to hold him?” Feyre asked tentatively. Out of everyone, Azriel had been the most cautious to hold the new-born. Not because he thought he was going to drop him, Azriel had carried grown Illyrians before without a second thought, but he was worried to hold Nyx. Rhys breathing down his neck probably didn’t make it much better, but Azriel knew it was nothing personal.

“I’d love to hold him.” He replied,

“Good because I have to go the bathroom.” Feyre said, standing and placing the babe in his arms.

“It suits you, ya know.” Rhys said after a few moments, still from his position at the fountain.

“What does?”

“The baby. The Idea of you maybe being a father. You’d be a natural.”

Azriel pushed down the thoughts of his own father. How could he be a good father if he had no one to show him. Azriel once again shut off his thoughts, if he started thinking of his childhood, he’d enter a hole he wouldn’t be able to emerge from.

“You make it look easy, brother.”

“You flatter me,” he smiled, “If you saw how I looked when I wake in the night to tend to him, you’d soon think otherwise.”

“Getting soft in your old age?” Azriel chuckled, Rhys followed suit. After a moment or so, Rhys pondered, “Do you think you’ll want children?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want.” He’d said the same words to Cassian a few months ago, how much had changed since then.

“Whose opinion matters then?” Rhys asked quietly. Azriel did not want to answer, especially when he was unsure himself. Gwyn was just his friend. Mor felt further and further away. And Elain, Rhys had opinions on that. When he was silent for too long Rhys continued, “Azriel I want to apologise for what I said to you on the winter solstice.” Azriel blinked, unmoving, “It was horrible of me to say such things, if you truly hold feelings for her, and she for you. I shouldn’t have ordered you. Not where your happiness is concerned.” This was not the time to have this conversation.

“I forgive you brother.” Was all Azriel could say but he didn’t feel his heart clench as it once had when Mor had made it obvious she didn’t reciprocate his feelings. He felt calm. “Do you hold feelings for Elain?” Rhys inquired further.

“You spend too much time with that mate of yours. Always so invested in your friends lives.” He joked, and when Rhys waited for him to respond he just said, “I think a lot has happened and Elain was, still is Beautiful and for a second I could see that life, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, whatever you decide, if both of you want it, want each other. We’ll deal with it. Lucien… Lucien will find it difficult, but we can work it out.”

“It is appreciated,” he replied, “but I do not think it will be necessary.”

“Why?” Because he was not in love with Elain. Because he was starting to think that after 500 years, he might not ever be lucky enough to find someone to share it with. To find someone who would want to share it with him. That the one female who he couldn’t get his mind off of, was not only one of the strongest and beautiful warriors in history but someone who had been through too much in her life and the last thing she wanted, the last thing she’d probably want was to wake up to a bastard brute who tortured and killed. He’d never deserve her.

“So many questions today.” And Azriel could have kissed Feyre for her perfect timing because she walked back towards them through the garden, “Azriel, I forgot to ask if you perhaps wanted to babysit Nyx one day.”

“Me? You’d trust me.”

“Of course, we do, Az.” She said with such a loving smile, “You could have him up at the house with Nesta and Cassian if you wanted.”

“I’d love to and I’m sure they would too. When do you need us?”

“Tomorrow evening?” Rhys Answered, “Sorry it’s sightly last minute it’s just, we didn’t get to celebrate our anniversary, with the pregnancy and everything, so I thought it was time to make up for it, and it took a bit more convincing than I thought for Feyre to leave Nyx for a few hours.”

“Oh, because I’m the territorial one.” She shot back at her mate with a smirk, who just held open his arms for her,

“I wouldn’t have you any other way, Feyre Darling.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Azriel smiled at the pair. Even if he was destined to be alone, he’d have his family. Who knows, maybe Nyx would grow up and the two would be thick as thieves and he might not feel so sad to not be happily in love like it seemed everyone else in his life seemed to be. But the little fae looked at his Uncle Az and reached for his face. When Azriel responded with some mumbled baby-talk and a funny face, Nyx had let out a gorgeous little giggle. Azriel loved this child, more than he could express. Maybe Azriel should try to heal himself. Maybe if he couldn’t do it for himself, he could do it to show Nyx what it was to be a strong male, what it was to be a better a male, he did not want his nephew to grow up in a world where he was afraid, so -

“Anyway,” he said without thinking, “I should be off.”

“Where to?”

“I’m going to start doing some work in library, thought I’d help out with the workload since Nesta is busy in mated bliss.”

“Ah, I see,” Rhys replied, “Perhaps having them look after Nyx could be dangerous,” he grinned at his mate, “Don’t want them getting any ideas.”

“Trust me, Nesta won’t have children for a while.” Feyre said,

“Well, she changed her anatomy- “, Rhys replied

“She did what?!”

“I thought she would’ve told you, Cassian told me she changed her anatomy so she could have his children.”

“Is this what you two do,” Azriel interjected, “Sit around, sipping tea, with your beautiful baby and talk about your friends.” Rhys let out a laugh and replied with a, “Please Az, that’s all every mated couple does ever.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” He chuckled back as he returned the babe to his father, “I’ll see you three tomorrow.”

“We’ll bring him up around 6.”

And with that, Azriel had launched into the sky. He’d try to be a better, for his nephew he’d be a better male. And he had a feeling that what or rather who was in that library, would be a good place to start.

——

“I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come.”

“Sorry about that, I have no excuse, I wanted to come but I didn’t.”

“Why?” Gwyn asked him, and maybe it was the gentleness in her voice that goaded him to answer, truthfully.

“Because I was afraid,” she just waited for him to continue, “Why face what’s really going through my head when I can just fly around and ignore all my problems.”

“Honesty looks great on you, Shadowsinger.” The smile that rose on her cheeks had Azriel weak in the knees again. He had liked Elain, had briefly pictured a life with her but Gwyn left him, speechless. Utterly Speechless. “It’s this new thing I’m trying,” he said, “Where I try to be better.”

“What made you want to change?”

“Nyx,” again, a hopelessly honest answer, “I want him to grow up in a world where his Uncle is strong, and not just physically.”

“You might want to review that last bit, your physical strength seems to be lacking,” she giggled, “that is if the last time we sparred was an indication of your current physical strength.” Azriel smiled shyly at this female before him,

“Maybe we should spar again tomorrow, and you can eat those words.” She just continued to gawk at him and smile,

“Tomorrow morning at the house.”

“You’re on.”

He almost reached out a hand in order to shake hers, but she was stood a pace or two away from him, holding a book to her. She didn’t wish to be touched, not today. Instead, he nodded and asked what he could get started on. “You can get to work on re-shelving these,” she gestured to the cart, “and when you’re done, find me again and I’ll give you something else to do.”

“I wasn’t aware you gave orders around here.”

“I do when Clotho and Merril are too busy to- “

“and Merril is?”

“I’ll tell you once you’ve finished that cart.” she said sauntering past him and walked away without a backward glance. Azriel’s gaze followed her until she was out of sight. Shit. He was screwed.

——

All she’d wanted was to be treated like a person. Not like the piece of glass everyone thought she was and Azriel made her feel like she could take on the world. She’d never wanted to taunt and flirt with anyone, she’d never been interested in any of the males who visited the temple. But Azriel was wholly different, he was strong, inspiring and maybe as broken as she was. She would always have to face her fears and her past, but she could tell Azriel had been through a world of pain. His eyes gave it away. And if someone could come back from that, if someone could still get out of bed and fight for a better life despite all they had endured, even if 500 years later they were still struggling but trying nonetheless; It gave her hope.

Gwyn had never seen Azriel with Nyx and she feared that if she did, she might very well find herself on the floor from swooning too much.

She heard his footsteps before she could see him, “I’ve finished with the cart.”

“Record breaking time, Shadowsinger,” She bit out the final word,

“Not my first-time shelving books,” she just looked at him, eyebrows raised, inviting him to continue, “When my father wasn’t keeping me- “not right now, he wouldn’t share that history with her now, “My father had a small library in his office, and I had the joy of sorting through them.” 

“Well, you certainly outperform Nesta. It would have taken her twice as long to get through that.”

“Probably too busy thinking about Cassian,” he joked,

“Probably,” Gwyn smiled, “for now you can sit here with me and help me sift through these.”

He took a seat opposite her and even sitting he was taller than her but there was nothing intimidating about his presence, as if he had trained himself to be unthreatening, as they had trained to still their minds.

“Who’s Merril?” he asked picking up a book, not opening it yet,

“The cranky scholar I work for, she’s writing the book on the Valkyries,”

“I’m guessing that’s what we’re trying to find?”

“Indeed.” She looked back to the book she was studying hard,

“You know, Day Court probably has information on them,” he said back to her, “Valkyries are not confined to a single court, so I’d expect knowledge of them to be across the land and Day Court has the best libraries.”

“I thought they had been,” she choked back a cough, stirring other memories, “I thought they’d been ransacked.”

“They were, but I know Helion has been working hard to restore them these past years. I could ask Rhys to send word, perhaps Merril would allow you to visit.”

“You speak with such familiarity of the High Lords. I’d been taught all my life that they were these elite fae who had been chosen by the Mother to rule our sacred land, and Rhysand certainly fits that category, but I’d always thought of them as more like Gods than people. So, when I heard that the High Lady’s sister would be working with us, I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Nesta Archeron can definitely be more intimidating than a High Lord.”

“She is, but she’s so kind despite all she’s been through. It makes me wonder what her other sister is like, I’ve been told she’s the saint of the family.” Something unsettled him about, for all his neutrality, something shifted when she spoke of the middle Archeron,

“Elain is- “he cleared his throat, “Elain is kind in a way I have never encountered,” a smile threatened to grace his lips, “a week after the War when we were still recovering, she’d already taken to the streets of Velaris and asked if people had needed help, in either their grieving or with small tasks.”

“She sounds lovely.”

“She is.” And something in Gwyn dropped at the way Azriel wanted to smile. She should’ve known that this male would be highly sought after, she should have known that she was silly to even think he’d be slightly interested in her. So instead, she decided to change the subject back,

“I don’t think I’d be allowed to go to the Day Court,” Didn’t want to leave the Library was more like it,

“I’ll send word anyway, and if you change your mind, I’d be more than happy to escort you.” He had known that she wanted to stay here, that Merril would probably let her travel the continent if it meant finding information for her, that she had said no because she was scared to venture beyond Velaris.

“Thank you,” were the only words she could say. Not just for his understanding but because of his offer to be by her side. She was certainly reading too much into it.

They had been scanning the pages for a while now, in silence, and neither of them had found anything. Usually, Gwyn found the silence slightly unnerving, In Sangravah there had always been noise, you could always hear the priestesses and acolytes singing or praying or children running around, it took her a while to not be scared of the silence of the library but with Azriel it was comfortable. “Let’s take a break,” she mumbled, “tell me something interesting, Shadowsinger.”, his soft rounded ears perked up,

“Interesting? What you don’t find books on War camp layouts interesting?”, He chuckled,

“As riveting as that is, my eyes are going blurry from reading. So… tell me something.”

“What do you want to know?” he put down his book, 

“Something about yourself,” she leaned in,

“There’s nothing really interesting to tell.”

“I doubt that.” She regretted it the instant she did it, but she glanced down to his scarred hands and the smirk off her face disappeared,

“You want to know about - “

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have… I mean,” Say something Gwyn, she thought to herself, “I did not mean to pry in such a way, I just wanted… I just wanted to get you to talk, you’re near silent these days, and that’s completley fine, but I thought… I don’t know,” she trailed off, bowing her head,

“Gwyn,” she liftted her once more, “it’s okay, I appreciate you trying to help me. The truth is, recently I haven’t been myself. There’s been a lot of change.”

“Nesta and Cassian?”

“Among other things.” He shrugged his shoulders. She wondered if Elain was among those other things, wondered what he might have endured to leave his eyes so empty, and without thinking Gwyn reached a hand across to him and held on to his until he looked at her,

“If you ever want to talk, about anything, I’m here.”

“I might actually take you up on that.” he tightened his grip on her hands very gently, she could feel those scars beneath her fingertips, and she smiled at him, he finally smiled again. Big and Bright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys!!!   
> So this is a long one oops, I keep writing other scenes in this series rather than the current chapter I'm writing oops.   
> Also I'm hopeless at editing and spelling so, I'm sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys like it! I definitely enjoyed writing it, and it's about to get a whole lot fluffier and angstier. My faves.


	3. Under the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Fluff :)

He certainly hadn’t made training the next morning easy for her. After apologising to Emerie for not partnering with her, Gwyn had stalked towards Azriel, and when she got close enough, he had whispered in her ear, “Ready to eat your words, Priestess.” The blush that crept up her cheeks was more than she could handle. She took the sword he offered her, got into position and they started. There was something different between them, the way he kept looking into her eyes threatened to make her knees buckle and when she’d made a particularly impressive move, he had smiled at her. She guessed it was what happened when you became friends with someone; She’d gotten closer to Nesta and Emerie and they’d share small glances while doing things, but nothing had made her feel as alive as Azriel smiling at her.

Their sword fight had been coming to an end, she was breathless, and it looked like he hadn’t broken a sweat. Their blades formed an ‘x’ shape and Gwyn found Azriel’s face a breath away from hers. Both of them far too arrogant to surrender.

Gwyn waited till his eyes met hers again. He opened his mouth to say something. But she hooked her leg around the back of his, behind his knee and knocked him off balance. He fell to the floor before she registered what she had done. She’d won the fight. She swore she heard Cassian let out a laugh in the distance and his brother’s stunned expression.

“Good job,” he said sitting up, she held out a hand to him, he took it and when he’d stood to his full height, she asked, “Water?”. They walked towards the table near where Nesta and Cassian had resumed training. Gwyn watched her friend in awe of her skill. She knew every move Cassian was going to make before he made it and everything she gave; Cassian gave right back. If Gwyn thought hers and Azriel’s sword fight had been like fireworks than Nesta and Cassian’s was like lightening.

She sat on the ground watching them, trying to keep up with their movements. She found Azriel sitting beside her as he said to her, “Cassian has a tell,” she looked at him puzzled, so he glanced back and subtly pointed, “Look, he moves his left foot backwards right before he throws a right hook.” At that moment he indeed moved his left foot back and Nesta ducked below the arm he threw round, the force of the punch throwing him off balance and giving Nesta the perfect opportunity to land a hit to his stomach.

He doubled over and Gwyn let out a laugh which not only caused a glare from Cassian but a small chuckle from Azriel too. Nesta stood proudly in the ring and curtsied like the fine lady she had been raised to be, as if she hadn’t just brought a Centuries old male to his knees. Gwyn didn’t doubt Nesta would pay for that arrogance later, and another smile escaped her lips at that thought too.

“I better be off,” Azriel said, “but I’ll see you later?” She nodded, excited to spend some more time in the library with him.

Emerie approached and looked at her questioningly, “Later?” she smirked,

“He’s helping in the library.”

“I see,” she smiled knowingly,

“What?”

“Nothing…”

——

“I’m sorry were you expecting someone else?” Gwyn tried to not look disappointed as Nesta walked towards her.

“No… Yes… It’s not important.”

“I thought you’d wouldn’t mind me coming to see you.” 

“Nesta,’ she sighed, “I’m so happy you’re here,” she smiled, “How’s mated life?”

“Wonderful,” Nesta replied, “Although I am missing working in the library with you.”

“I miss you too,” she smiled,

“Well, as excited as I am to be here, I also come with a message,” Nesta said, “Azriel can’t make it today, he’s got caught up doing some big important spy thing.”

“Oh.” Gwyn couldn’t hide her disappointment, “Is he okay?”

“Who knows with Azriel? Besides I thought you’d know more than any of us.” Nesta winked but Gwyn had turned away starting to stack the rest of the books on the cart.

“I don’t know what you mean?” Gwyn said shyly,

“So, we’re just going to pretend you didn’t beat his ass because he was too distracted by looking at you,” She retorted, “Or that he said something that made you laugh louder than I’ve ever heard.”

“He’s my friend.” Were the only words that made sense in response,

“Okay,” Nesta said not wanting to push it any further, “What work needs doing?”

Gwyn only pointed to the cart and Nesta started to shelve the books. Amren had asked Nesta to start trying to use her small powers to do little tasks so she might get used to using them. Putting the books away was much easier when she wasn’t having to haul that ladder around. She truly did miss it down here and in addition to finding out what was going on between Gwyn and Azriel she quite liked the idea of some peace and quiet.

Mated life had been absolutely bliss. Cassian had taken her in every room in the house as well as one night on the patio underneath the stars. That was her favourite, watching the brilliant shining sky as Cassian reduced her to mere moans. She’d wished on every star that shot across the sky that she’d feel this way forever, with a heart that burned and happy soul. And she wanted her friend to feel that way too. She could not imagine what Gwyn had been through, Nesta had a vague idea after Thomas, but she wasn’t sure if Gwyn could look at someone that way, especially for the person who had found and saved her from that horrible situation. But she also knew that Gwyn didn’t want the trauma to define her, so she tried to treat Gwyn like anyone else, like she’d asked when they first met.

“I didn’t think I’d ever feel again,” Gwyn said, somehow reading the thoughts that had gone through Nesta’s mind, “While… the attack was happening, I shut every thought out of my head, I just needed to stop them finding those children,” she was solemn, but no tears came, “In the weeks after, I only felt numb. Nothing made me feel alive, and I feared that I would never be able to feel anything again. Not just for what had been done to me, but I didn’t want to face what had happened to my sister.” Nesta had now fully faced her, and Gwyn was perched against a table in between the shelves, “I started going to the services and the music made me feel. Then you came along, and you were numb, but you were sharp, and there was a fire behind your eyes that reminded me of my sister. Every person after that I met, Emerie, Cassian, even Az, had that same sadness in their eyes but they were living, and I decided that I could try as well.” She wasn’t crying but tears had come to Nesta’s eyes,

“And now what?”

“And now,” she let out a long breath, “I’d love to say everything is better, but so much comes with feeling.”

“I understand,” Nesta said, but questioned quietly, “Azriel?”

“I don’t know,” the tears threatened to spill now, “I enjoy spending time with him, and he makes me feel more than anyone, but…”

“But what?”

“I’m a priestess, he’s a Shadowsinger. There’s no way he feels the same way.”

“Might I remind you that you are one of the few Carythian Warriors, you are stronger than you think.”

“He’s also basically in love with your sister.”

“I don’t think Rhys would be happy about that,” Nesta tried to joke, “What makes you say that?”

“The way he wanted to smile when he talked about her, plus if she’s as gorgeous as you…”

“Gwyn where is this coming from? You’re the least self-deprecating person I know.”

“I’ve heard you say multiple times you don’t think you’re enough for Cassian,” Gwyn shot back, “It’s not that I don’t know that I’m strong, that I’m capable and beautiful, but will that ever be enough?”

“It depends on the lucky male or female who one days gets to call you theirs,” Nesta cupped her face and wiped the tears away from her eyes,

“Few priestesses marry.”

“Let’s start with just spending time with him,” Nesta said, “Why don’t you have dinner with us tonight?”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely, we have Nyx tonight so the more hands the better.”

“You think the High Lady and High Lord will mind?”

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re family now too.”

“I love you, Nes.” Gwyn said pulling in her sister for a hug. Dinner. She could do that.

——

His wings were aching. Even after centuries of hovering in the air spying from the clouds above, his wings still ached. It was probably a poor choice to also fly home, but he wanted to clear his head before coming home to look after Nyx. He was as excited as he was nervous about babysitting the little boy. He’d ripped apart enemies and tortured secrets out of people but looking after a child was the scary thing.

He wished he’d gone to the library today, but duty called, Rhys had wanted him to do a sweep of the continent and finishing it today meant he didn’t have to go tomorrow. Nevertheless, he wanted nothing more than to share some quiet contemplative time with Gwyn. The way she’d held his hand last night had been the thought he fell asleep to. She was completely genuine when she told him he could confide in her; And nothing had been more beautiful than the softness in her eyes this morning when he’d smirked and joked with her. This was so unlike him. What had possessed him to pursue her, and so publicly.

He had no doubt that Gwyn was just being friendly, that she’d offer the same kindness to all her friends. That she’d never be able to look at him as anything but darkness and evil. The male who did the High Lord’s dirty work. The male who should have gotten to the temple quicker to stop what she had endured. So, what was he doing blatantly flirting with her? He couldn’t explain it other than a natural pull…

No. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible. Any kind of mating bond would have clicked months ago. Right? Mating bonds happened instantly. You were supposed to take one look at them and just know. That’s what had happened with Rhys… but it wasn’t, he’d always suspected but he didn’t know till Feyre had been made. And Cassian, he’d suspected too, but hadn’t known for sure till he kissed Nesta. Gwyn couldn’t be his mate, she was light and hope and he was… well, he was the Spymaster. Covered in shadows. Shadows that loved Gwyn and only whispered good of the acolyte.

He’d come through the Velaris boundaries and was flying above his beloved city to the House of wind. The sun was beginning its descent, casting that gorgeous glow and the female who’d been occupying his mind the entire flight came into view. She was in the training ring with Feyre next to the ribbon post. He landed silently and watched as Gwyn explained how to make the cut. He could watch her talk about that damned ribbon for years. 

“Az!” Feyre exclaimed when she’d realised, he snuck up behind her, “How was the continent?”

“Silent as expected,” but he was far too focused on Gwyn, “I see someone’s broken the ribbon out again.”

“The High Lady was merely asking what you had to do to become a Valkyrie, and when I told her about the ribbon she asked if she could have a go.”

“Please, call me Feyre.” She said affirmingly,

“Let’s see it then,” Azriel said to Feyre. She sucked in a deep breath and Azriel watched as she tried to recall her training. She moved so quickly but not quick enough and the ribbon had been marked but not sliced. Azriel let out a small chuckle, which was met by Gwyn giving his abdomen a whack. It was such a natural gesture; As if she always did it, and Azriel saw that question dancing in Feyre’s eyes.

“I guess that’s what happens when you don’t train for 9 months.”

“You are welcome whenever to join our training,” Gwyn said, “I promise to keep Mr Shadows in line if he tries to laugh at you again.” Feyre let out a beautiful laugh,

“It’d be an honour, Gwyn.”

Feyre stalked back into the house with Azriel and Gwyn following behind. “You were missed in the library today.” Gwyn said,

“My pride was wounded when you tripped me, and I fell on my ass this morning.” He joked,

“You should have been more alert, Spymaster.” Gwyn said, and Feyre chuckled again in front of them. When they’d entered the main lounge area, they found Cassian bouncing baby Nyx in his arms gently as Rhys and Nesta talked by the fireplace. They were talking about the house from what Azriel could tell. He could see the pair asking for things that then appeared on the table. A beautiful and unlikely friendship, but one he was thankful for.

The High Lord and Nesta had more in common than one would have initially thought. They revelled in storytelling and were both extremely competitive. The family dinner they’d had the night before Nesta and Cassian’s lavish mating ceremony the pair had raced through Velaris, they could take whatever route they saw fit, and no flying was allowed but they had to finish by the bridge on the Sidra. Rhys had won, but she blamed it on him knowing the city better than her. It looked like they were now seeing who could ask for the most obscure objects from the house.

“We better be off,” Feyre said, giggling at her mate and sister, “before Rhys asks for something too interesting, he won’t be able to leave.” The parents wandered to their child and planted big kisses on his head. Feyre just stared at her child for a moment.

“Are you okay, my love?” Rhys asked,

“It’s just the first time we’ve left him,” She breathed,

“I know, but it’s only a few hours.” He said kissing her brow, “And Cassian and Azriel will call us if anything goes wrong.”

“Okay,” She said, “Nyx’s milk is in the bag, he’ll need it an hour or so, you can try and put him in the cot but he’s more inclined to sleep in someone’s arms, that is if he falls asleep at all. His favourite stuffed toy is in the bag and - “

“Feyre…” Rhys said,

“Yeah.”

“You’re fussing.”

“Okay, yeah, you guys are gonna be great. See you later.” And they winnowed away, presumably to a restaurant in Velaris, or maybe even the Cabin in the Illyrian mountains. To be honest, Azriel wouldn’t be surprised if they just went back to the river house and had a quiet night to themselves.

“So, do I ever get to hold him?” Nesta asked her mate who was still holding the boy,

“Of course,” he said, “Would you like to sit first?” Nesta sat on the big sofa and Cassian placed Nyx in her arms. He sat beside her at the end of the sofa, and she fell so naturally back into his arms and the pair look so content. Azriel knew the newly mated couple would not have a baby of their own for a while, but he caught the look of love in his brother’s eyes as he held his mate who was doting on their nephew.

“I think it might not be so long before we have another baby in this house.” Gwyn said, “I think we should start placing bets for their child.” She was whispering. Nesta and Cassian were too wrapped up in each other and the baby to notice anyway.

“It’ll be at least a decade if not two.” Azriel whispered back,

“I reckon only five years.” He chuckled at that, a small deep chuckle,

“Are you staying for dinner?”

“Yes, although we may have to get it ourselves, I don’t think they want to move.”

“I heard that,” Nesta said, “and I thought a picnic on the patio might be nice. It’s heated so he won’t get cold and the sunset over Velaris is beautiful.” Nesta winked at Gwyn then, there was a secret message there and Azriel didn’t want to think it meant.

When they’d wandered outside, they found lights lining the wall and plush cushions arranged in a square. Nesta still held the babe as she explained, “When we were in the day court this is how they took most of their meals, especially since it’s getting warmer. It was beautiful to sit outside and take in the air as we ate.” Cassian nudged her gently as if to say _It was nice doing other things too on those plush cushions, too._

“I think it’s my turn now.” Azriel chimed in and Nesta begrudgingly gave her nephew to Azriel who had seated himself among the cushions. Nyx instantly giving a small smile. He was barely a month, but he was healthy and chubby, and he reached up to Azriel’s shadows, that had stilled as if they were also watching the baby in awe.

Gwyn’s face was unreadable as she beheld Azriel and Nyx, but she sat beside him and brushed a soft lock of the baby’s hair back. He stilled as he felt her other hand on his shoulder. He wondered if they looked as complete as his brother had a few minutes ago.

They enjoyed a beautiful meal as the sun was setting and the lights around the patio began to glow brighter. Cassian had given Nyx his milk and everyone had laughed when the baby threw up on him. The four of them got on extremely well. Talking about the newest Valkyrie recruits, how Azriel was infinitely happier teaching the Valkyrie than the Illyrians. They’d somehow brought up the topic of Wingspans which had Nesta glancing between her mate and her good friend while Gwyn choked on her wine. They’d lost track of time and Nyx was happy enough to be amongst the joy.

It was when Nesta had said something particularly crude about her mate that Azriel let out the loudest laugh, which had been a mistake, for the Shadowsinger was now holding his nephew once more and his jolt had caused the babe to cry. The guilt that washed over Azriel’s face was unbearable. But the whole world seemed to stop when Gwyn placed her hand on Azriel’s arm and asked if she could hold Nyx.

———

Gwyn knew how to look after children. She loved children. So, a crying baby did not phase her. Nyx was passed to her and his sobs quieted but didn’t stop. She had been apprehensive about holding this child though. Possibly the heir of the Night Court, but she did not think about that as she rocked him gently and opened her mouth to sing.

It was an ancient lullaby, Nesta had recognised it. Gwyn remembered Nesta saying how her mother had known fae lullabies probably due to some ancient fae heritage, but Gwyn sang it with an earth - stilling gentleness. Like the very stars that were starting to shine above leaned in to hear the priestess sing to their prince. On the second verse, Nesta had joined in, with a simple harmony and Gwyn smiled at her friend who was struggling to remember the words.

When Gwyn looked to Cassian, he could see pure, unapologetic love in his eyes, and it was a thing of bedtime stories but what she was not expecting was that same look to be in Azriel’s eyes as he watched her. Looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. As if everything they had been through was not important, it was just him and her and it didn’t matter that she could barely leave a library or that he had deep scars on his hands. Her voice shook on the final note, but the world remained still. Gwyn and Azriel had not noticed the baby had stopped crying or that sun had finally set leaving only the moon.

“I didn’t know you sang,” Cassian said, breaking the silence,

“I’ve told you at least 10 times,” Nesta said, “I’m surprised if this one ever hears a word I say.”

“I’ve always enjoyed singing,” Gwyn said in response, “I never really thought I was particularly good though.”

“You were…” Azriel was at a loss for words, but he choked back, “It was beautiful, Gwyn.”

“Thank you,” She smiled. Maybe it was possible he felt the same for her as she for him. Perhaps they were both as lost and confused as each other. But she wouldn’t mind, putting in that time with him. To grow with Azriel and hear what he knew of the world. To maybe one day venture beyond Velaris. To visit Sangravah again and say goodbye to her sister. She wanted that life. And as she looked at him, she thought she could see he might want it too. 

She’d come out of her shell recently, not knowing where her confidence had come from to leave those lingering touches on his arm or even playfully hit him. It just felt natural. Like they were already one mind so what she did with her hands did not matter because they were always meant to be in his.

Rhysand and Feyre landed on the patio and Gwyn felt their eyes on them before she realised, they’d landed.

“How did you get him to sleep?” Rhys asked,

“Gwyn sang to him,” Nesta said, “It was one of lullabies mother used to sing to us. The one about the roses.”

“I remember that,” Feyre said with a smile, “Gwyn, you are more than welcome to babysit any time.”

“The honour would be mine.” She stood with enough grace that Nyx didn’t stir and gave the baby back to his mother.

“So, did you two enjoy your little… date.” Cassian said wiggling his eyebrows.

“We did, we went to the little restaurant on the Sidra and then we went to the cabin.” Rhys said, and Cassian just winked at him,

“Oh shh,” Feyre said with a smile back at him, “Just wait till you have a kid and you can’t have sex for months.”

“Months?!” Cassian shouted, “Nes did she just say months?”

“Well, what did you think, baby?” Nesta said brushing some hair behind his ear, “There’s a point where a female gets too big and then…”

“Then afterwards all you want to do is sleep and you’re worried any noise will wake the baby, even if they’re in the next room, so you just take whatever sleep you can get before they wake up again.” Rhys finished for Nesta.

“And everyone knows this?”

“Everyone with more than two braincells.” Azriel said, earning a giggle from Gwyn. She’d enjoyed just watching the conversation flow between this family. No one ever talked about sex so casually in front of her, except Nesta and Emerie and their smutty books. But the priestesses had always gone quiet around her, and she loved how considerate they were, but it was nice to feel normal.

“Anyway, we better be off,” Feyre said, “Let’s see if we can get this little one in the cot before he wakes up.” She said to Rhys,

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” He chuckled, as Feyre rolled her eyes playfully, wrapping the sling around Nyx. When he was secured against her chest, Rhys gathered his mate and son in his arms and took off into his starry sky.

Gwyn watched them fly home till she could no longer see them. She faintly heard a giggle from Nesta behind her, so she turned around to see her friend stood holding her mate as he whispered something into her ear. “We’re gonna head to bed now,” Cassian said to them and when Azriel gave him a look as if to say _You really can’t keep it in your pants, brother,_ Cassian responded with a - “It’s been a long day.” Nesta all but dragged him from the patio, down the stairs and back into the house. She was happy for Nesta, truly. But for now, she found herself alone with Azriel again.

“I better be off to,” she said, “I wouldn’t want to be deafened by their antics.” she laughed pointedly at Azriel,

“Goodnight, Gwyn,” he said, but she knew he wasn’t finished, “unless…”

“Yes?” Her voice was barely a whisper, it was a miracle he could hear her,

“Can I show you something?” When she looked slightly nervous, he said, “It’s just up here, we’re not leaving the house.”

“Okay.” She smiled. So Azriel held out a hand for her and she bravely took it and he led her up a set of steps which she realised led to a small balcony higher up the house.

When she looked out it felt like she was amongst the stars. She didn’t think the steps had been that high but Velaris sprawled beneath them, the streets lined with orbs of light and faint echoes of music. It was breath taking.

“This is my favourite view in the city,” he said,

“I can see why.”

“My upbringing wasn’t the best,” he started, “I was the bastard son of Camp Lord and my half-brothers and father didn’t exactly take too kindly to me.” He held up his hands that were faintly illuminated by the lights orbs of light around them. “The scars are burns, they covered my hands in oil and set them on fire and left me locked away, so they didn’t have to hear me scream.” A tear slid down Gwyn’s face, he was keeping the details short because he couldn’t bear to relive them. She feared his nightmares that he had so often - probably had something to do with what had been done to him as a child. “When they found out I was a Shadowsinger they shipped me off to another camp without a second thought, and I feared that I’d be used for my new powers but then I met Rhys.” He let out a long breath, she thought that he probably did not tell this story very often, so she just stood and listened, grateful he felt safe enough to tell her, “His mother had known mine and she took me in and although we didn’t get on at first, the three of us slowly formed a brotherhood. Rhys and his mother had to leave one day for business but instead of leaving us there she brought us to Velaris, to this house. I’d never been told I could just wander around before. But I came out here, stood on this balcony and it was the first time I felt free.”

Tears were freely slipping down Gwyn’s face now. It was a small piece of his soul he had offered. Told her about himself and part of his trauma. His scarred hand made its way to her cheek and brushed a tear away. “Your story deserves to be told, Azriel.” It was the only words she could think to say, what he’d been through. What he’d achieved despite it. He’d been locked away and tortured and told that he was worth nothing. Something that even 500 years couldn’t heal.

“Can I ask you something?” she said, 

“Of course.”

“How did you get through it all?”

“There are days where I do not and things that have happened since don’t make it any easier, but I found my family, my true family. And I don’t know what the future holds or even what I might deserve, but it’s knowing that I’m no longer alone that gets me through.”

“You deserve the world, Azriel.” He didn’t have an answer to that. He’d been told that before, but he didn’t believe it, not truly, until Gwyn had declared it. She couldn’t read his face and instead of pushing something out of him, she sat on the floor of the balcony and rested her head on the ground, looking up.

“There are days where I feel I could conquer the world, and days where I can barely leave my room.” Gwyn said, “I think it will take a while to feel… to feel part of the world again, but I want to try.”

“Then you’re already halfway there.” Azriel said, sitting beside her. He waited till she gave him some confirmation that it was okay to lay next to her. She just looked at him and smiled, and when he was next her, she relaxed even more.

“Gwyn,” he said, “I- I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I should have gotten there quicker.” She knew what he was talking about, that day at the temple. She didn’t know how to answer. There was so much pain from that day that lingered, but nothing could’ve stopped those soldiers, no way they could have gotten help any quicker, she wasn’t even sure how they’d been alerted in the first place.

“I never thanked you,” she said, “for saving my life.”

“Gwyn…”

“You did, Azriel. You saved us. None of it was your fault.”

“It was not your fault either.” and those were the words she’d needed to hear. She didn’t know she’d needed to hear them, but tears were pooling in her eyes for a second time.

“Gwyn,” he asked tentatively, “Would it be okay if I held you?” She sat up and looked at him, barely seeing him but she nodded. He sat up too, wings leaning against the railing as Gwyn came to sit next to him. She wasn’t sure what to do next but Azriel did as he held open his arms and she carefully looped her arms around his neck and her legs rested over his. She rested her head on his shoulder and he stroked her head with one hand while the other rested on her waist.

A miracle that she could be held like this, breathe in another male’s scent and not want to be sick. She wouldn’t mind staying like this forever. Azriel’s shadows had also calmed and it felt like they were holding her too.

As her sobs began to subside, and she held onto this beautiful male. She felt a click deep inside of her, ancient and not of this world. Her gasp disguised by her sobs, realising what lay between them. Gwyn stopped crying as her soul began to glow. The gold threads now reaching out to him. Secret. Lovely. Beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! Another update! Sorry the chapters keep getting longer but we move. Again I loved writing this, I think I'm slowly turning myself into a Gwynriel Stan but anyway. 
> 
> Here's the song I imagine Gwyn sang to little Nyx just if you want to hear what I heard - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cMSMstm-Pg (also if you've seen Poldark, my friend basically sees Gwyn as Demelza and like I kind of can't unseen it) 
> 
> Anyway, let me know if you liked it! I love reading ur comments :) 
> 
> Stay safe and God bless :)


	4. In Velaris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azriel and Gwyn enjoy a trip to Velaris together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very self indulgent, I just basically write what I wanna see so get ready for lots of Azriel and Nesta being best friends.

He’d stayed with her for an hour or so. Unmoving beneath the stars, miles away from the bustling city. He’d never understood the joy of just sitting with someone, breathing in their scent, holding them like nothing else mattered. He’d had lovers throughout the years, taken females to bed after nights out dancing, always kept relatively secret because it wasn’t truly what he wanted. He was not like his brothers, of course he’d enjoyed fucking, there was a thrill and blissful distraction in not feeling but being wholly passionate with a stranger, but it never seemed to fulfil him in the same way it had with Rhys and Cassian; To meet a female, have your way with them and leave, as if they hadn’t just shared such intimacy. But he’d never found someone who he wanted to continue that journey with.

A few females had been on and off and of course Morrigan had been in the back of his mind for basically his entire life. He’d never wanted to take the next few steps though, to be in a relationship with someone and commit. All of his friends had been in relationships, Rhys was never secretive about taking females to bed but when he’d pursued someone he’d been nearly as secretive as Azriel; Being High Lord meant he had to be careful and Cassian was never really quiet about anything. But Azriel didn’t think he deserved it but maybe part of him was just holding out until he knew it was for real. Like he’d see the world differently somehow.

That’s what holding Gwyn had felt like, it had made his heart race; He’d prayed she couldn’t hear it thundering beneath her ear. It was a different kind of Intimacy, one that he treasured above all else. To have a friend in the most beautiful of people. He couldn’t decide if he was in love or in awe or just thrown way off course by how she made him feel. It was probably a combination of the three. He’d not even dared to consider being intimate with her. Every little moment between them had set him on fire and it was likely that Gwyn wouldn’t want to explore that side either. He didn’t care if she was never ready. Gods he just wanted to know if she felt the same way.

It had been a little over a week since that night and the memory of it still ran through his head. The past week had been busy but that shift that occurred between them had made everything seem a little brighter. He’d been to the library most days, stacking books or helping her with her work with Merril. Nesta had started joining them as well and Azriel was happy to see the pair get on so fiercely. He’d been stacking books on a lower level one afternoon when he’d heard them, at least 3 levels above him, laughing at something. When he’d asked later, they hadn’t told him and Nesta just smirked him. He didn’t want to know what that look meant.

She was braver around him too, not shying away but leaning in, maybe letting their hands brush as they passed notes and books to each other. His shadows delighted in this too and seemed to gawk at her and lingered to watch her walk away.

He was sat at the dining room table eating his breakfast, staring out the window, sunning his wings in the faint light of the morning. His silence was interrupted by Nesta’s footsteps plodding along the corridor.

“Good Morning, Nesta.” He said, raising his teacup to his lips,

“Morning,” she greeted,

“No Cassian?” he asked as she picked up a plate and started putting some pancakes and fruit on it,

“He was still asleep,” she said, “I think I finally tired him out.” Azriel choked on his tea,

“Come on Nes, I’m eating,” he said, talking about what his brother did with his mate was not how he wanted to start the morning,

“Sorry,” she said, “but in all honesty we were training last night, and he didn’t let up till I’d knocked him to his ass.”

“Is Cass alright? He never trains at night unless he’s stressed.”

“He found out he’s got to head back to Illyria in a few weeks, and apart from how stressful that already is, he’s also worried because it’s the first time we’ll be apart since- “

“I see.” Azriel said understandingly,

“The last time we were apart I was kidnapped and placed in that damned Rite and he’s under the impression something bad will happen while he’s away.”

“He’s always been protective.”

“That doesn’t make it less annoying.” Nesta said, earning a small smile from Azriel,

“I trust you told him how territorial he was being.”

“Like I said, we were training last night. I had to prove he had nothing to worry about.” She smirked,

“Indeed, I pity the person who goes against you in a fight,” Azriel smirked back at her, “Are you feeling alright about him going?” Nesta contemplated her answer, biting into a bit of her breakfast,

“I- “ She paused, “I know nothing will happen to me in Velaris, I suppose I’ll miss him though.” She feigned an annoyance,

“Uggh, you’re so in love it’s disgusting.” Azriel said with that joking scowl,

“It is disgusting,” She laughed, “Although I trust you might know a little something about that.” She smirked into her tea,

“Whatever do you mean?” he asked, trying to keep his face straight,

“Nothing…” she drew out the word before taking another sip of her tea,

“Nes…” he pushed, had she someone seen what he felt. Did she think he was in love with Gwyn or Elain? Gods what had Elain told Nesta. If Nesta knew about solstice he likely wouldn’t have his set of balls,

“I just think library trips can be awfully romantic,” she drawled, “reading by candlelight…”

“Nesta,” he huffed, “Whatever you’re implying,”

“I’m not implying anything, just maybe you could realise that she smiles at you the same way you do for her.” His head was empty. Was it possible?

Before he had the chance to respond Cassian made his way into the room. Nesta immediately smiled and turned to see her mate walking towards them and he placed a kiss on her forehead before taking the seat next to her. His hand had somehow manged to entwine with hers as he sat.

“Good Morning,” Cassian said to Azriel before leaning over to Nesta and whispering in her ear, “The bed was cold when I woke up.”

“Whiny,” she smiled back at him, and Azriel made an obvious gag to let them know just how insufferable they were being,

“We love you too, Az.” Nesta said to him, “Oh, could you fly me into Velaris after training today?”

“Cassian can’t take you?” he asked,

“Well, he’s training down on the field today and we’re up here.”

“I didn’t realise you’d be up here with me.” Azriel said,

“Gwyn managed to convince another one of her friends to join training, but I think she’s a little nervous, so Gwyn wanted me here as well.”

“Okay then, I’ll fly you down to Velaris, I wanted to run some errands anyway. What are you two getting Nyx for his blessing?”

“I think Rhys is still giving Nesta gifts.” Cassian joked, knowing that Nesta was now having to find homes for all the gifts she’d received. She loved getting on with her brother-in-law, but the gifts were slightly excessive now. Especially after their ridiculously over the top mating ceremony and then the training field.

“Oh Shh,” she said, “It’s been a week now since Rhys gave me a gift, and that’s the longest he’s gone so maybe he’s stopped.”

“What was the last one for?”

“Babysitting.” She said thinking nothing of it,

“Oh, so you got a gift, but me, Azriel and Gwyn have to suffer without one.”

“Well, I shared the chocolates he got for me with Gwyn so technically just you and Az are left out,” she poked back at him,

“I see how it is,” he smirked, teasing her. Azriel might has well have not been in the room, “I hope you’re not going to get stolen away by my brother.” he taunted further,

“Rhys is far too… shiny for me,” she retorted. Honestly, Azriel thought they’d forgotten about his existence entirely as they basically eye-fucked each other, “I prefer my males a bit more… unruly.”

Azriel would love to be able to say he’d never see this side of Nesta before, but sadly this flirty teasing was a daily occurrence in this household.

“How about I show you just how unruly I can be?” Cassian said back. _Please don’t do start fucking here_ , Azriel wanted to scream at them.

“We have training in 15 minutes.” She said batting her eye lashes, daring him to drag her back to their room,

“That sounds like more than enough time.” He said, and within an instant they were out their seats and he was pulling her out of the dining room.

“Don’t be late!” Azriel shouted after them. Nesta only responded by showing him her middle finger.

——

Gwyn came up to the training ring with her friend trailing behind her. Hana had been apprehensive but after seeing how much confidence her friend had gained through training, she thought she’d give it a go too. Hana had been another priestess from Sangravah, so they’d known each other a while but they’d not really gotten to know each other till they’d come to the library together.

She was showing her a few basic stretches when Nesta emerged into the training ring but before Gwyn could wave her over, Azriel caught Nesta’s arm, “Five minutes late.” Gwyn overheard him say,

“Oh hush,” Nesta whispered back to him, “You’re just moody because you’re not getting any.” That seemed to shut him up and Nesta smirked as she stalked towards Gwyn. Gwyn met her half-way leaving Hana with some of the other priestesses to warm up.

“What was all that about?” Gwyn asked, too curious to let it slide.

“I think he just feels a bit lonely these days.”

“Is it true?” Gwyn asked,

“Is what true?”

“That he’s… not getting any.”

Nesta was shocked, “My sweet innocent Gwyn…”

“Shut up, just tell me.”

“Who do you imagine he’d be sleeping with?” and when Gwyn refused to look up, Nesta knew the answer, “Elain?”

“I don’t know?”

“I can’t speak for either of them but the impression I get from my sister is that she’s enjoying being independent. As she should, she’s spent her whole life at the thought of being pawned off and belonging to a male. She’s loving being her own person.”

“I’m happy for her.” Gwyn smiled,

“You’re happy Azriel is available.” Gwyn started sputtering trying to find the words but Azriel called the group to him to explain what they’d be doing today.

Of course, Gwyn was happy to hear that Azriel wasn’t sleeping with anyone. Not that she necessarily wanted to be the one he was sleeping with. Well, of course she wanted to be the one he was sleeping with, but the details of that were not simple. She’d tried to not think about it, knowing that if the situation occurred, she’d not be able to go through with it. Fuck Hybern, she thought, they took something so precious from her and it made her angry beyond reason that she might not get to experience the joy of sharing herself with someone. The joy she read of in books and saw written across her friends face every day.

She wished to know how it would have been if they met under different circumstances. What courting felt like. To fall in love easily and effortlessly without fear. She wanted to believe that Azriel did feel that way about her. The memory etched into her mind of him holding her under the stars. His heart was beating, and she’d found comfort in that pounding rhythm. What she’d give to have that again. But she’d scarcely been alone with him since.

Sometimes she wanted to damn her fear, just stride across the ring, grab his face and kiss him. She’d never kissed anyone before, never been kissed. But she wanted to kiss Azriel. That thread that lay open tugging on her soul all but begged her to do it, but they were training, and the Valkyries would always be her priority. This is who she was, she was a Valkyrie and she’d keep their unit alive and thriving, fighting to no longer be fearful of anything or anyone.

Once they started sparring, Gwyn’s thoughts were running less rampant. Hana had paired off with another priestess who was fairly new so that left Gwyn with Nesta. They circled each other around the ring. This was their fourth round so they were more relaxed and lightly conversing.

“How are you liking the books?” Nesta asked,

“They’re great.”

“Well, if you ever get sick of reading romances you could always pick something else up. I’m actually going into Velaris this afternoon, you could come with and we can browse the book shop.”

“I’ve never been in one before,” She said, “But I can’t…”

“Why not? You told me that you aren’t obligated to work in the library, anymore.” That was true. Although Merril kept her busy it wasn’t her duty to work and she could come and go as she pleased as long as the other priestesses felt safe. Her and Clotho had agreed it when Gwyn had said she wanted to go outside more. Clotho had been more than willing to grant her that freedom if it assisted Gwyn’s healing.

“I guess I could…”

“Yay! You can borrow some clothes if you don’t want to wear training leathers.”

“That’d be great,” she smiled, “Speaking of leathers, the most recent research Merril is doing has given insight to what Valkyrie’s wore and maybe we could find a way to replicate their uniforms; Become real Valkyries.”

“Gwyn that’s incredible,” they’d stopped circling each other a while ago and were pretty much just gossiping in the ring now, “I’ll talk to Emerie and see if any of the Illyrian seamstresses would want to help us.”

“Are you two enjoying your little gossip session.” Azriel took Gwyn by surprise and she whipped round to see him behind her,

“Azriel!” She yelled, “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to know you’re joining us in Velaris.” Gwyn shot a look back at Nesta knowing exactly what her friend had orchestrated. The smirk on Nesta’s face told Gwyn that she’d guessed right. And then -

“Oh no!” Nesta said feigning some kind worry, “I forgot Cassian and I have a thing.”

“Do you, now?” Gwyn asked back with a raised eyebrow,

“Yeah, double date with Rhys and Feyre.”

“In the middle of the day?” Azriel asked, now also sceptical,

“Yeah. We’re meeting after Feyre finishes in the studio, but hey do you know what’s a good Idea? You two should go in to Velaris together.”

“Oh, would you look at how that turned out?” Gwyn muttered under her breath.

“Come and borrow some clothes and then you guys can go.”

“So, you decide when Training’s finished now?” Azriel said and Nesta only flipped him off for the second time that morning as she took Gwyn by the hand and led her into the House.

Her friend was downright sneaky. Nesta never forgot anything. She knew her friend had orchestrated this situation to get her and Azriel alone. She didn’t know if she wanted to hit her or hug her.

Gwyn entered Nesta and Cassian’s bedroom and followed Nesta to her closet. The couple’s bedroom was beautiful, no doubt the trinkets gifted from the High Lord himself, but the stunning part was the gorgeous floor to ceiling window that filled the wall opposite their bed with gorgeous soft pale blue organza curtains. The view was stunning, it wasn’t Velaris, the window faced the other way to the mountain ranges and the sea beyond it.

“We got the Idea while we were on honeymoon.” Nesta said, catching where Gwyn’s attention had shifted, “The entire palace there might as well have been made of glass and looking at it from the outside is gorgeous because you can see the sky and clouds reflected onto the surface.”

“It’s stunning,”

“Cass and I like to sit in here in the early evening and watch the sunset. It was only installed a week ago, so the luxury hasn’t worn off yet.”

“I don’t think it ever will.”

“I hope not,” Nesta smiled, “Anyway, you can borrow anything, it’s quite warm so maybe a light dress?” She said with a wink,

“I think I’m gonna go with leggings.”

“If you need money- “

“I have some, Rhys gave all of us priestesses lines of credit if we ever wanted or needed anything. I’ve never used it before.”

“I’m sure Azriel will be gentlemanly enough to pay, too.”

Gwyn tried not to panic. They’d been alone together but they were always working or training. The last time it’d been just them had been on the balcony and Azriel hadn’t brought it up since. She didn’t know how he felt, didn’t know if he couldn’t stop thinking about that night either. “Nes,” Gwyn said tentatively, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?” She said rifling through her draws,

“Go… into town… with Az.” Nesta was on her feet, with the items of clothing in hand and walked towards her friend,

“If you truly do not want to go, I will not force you.”

“The problem is, is that I do want to go.”

“I knew it!”

“Shut up,” Gwyn said with a smile, “You’re so enamoured that you’ve been wearing Cassian’s jumpers when you come to work in the library.”

“They’re comfy!” She said defensively, “But in all honesty if you need me, I will be at the River house. Just tap the bracelet.” Somehow their friendship bracelets had become enchanted, after the Rite the three had inspected them and realised they did faintly glow when the other was in need, and that they could trigger it by tapping the pendant thrice. Nesta suspected the house had somehow given them life, but Gwyn was inclined to believe they worked more like a bargain and that the bracelets acted like tattoos. After all, none of the three ever took them off.

“Okay, I can do this.” Gwyn said more to herself than Nesta.

“Let’s get going then.”

——

Azriel tried not to think too hard as he flew Gwyn down to Velaris. He loved the way she felt pressed against his chest, those fingers grazing the back his neck. It was throwing his balance off. He tried to not think about her eyes widening at the view below them and the winding river. He tried not to think about her shallow breaths and the way she clung to him.

He wondered if changing out of his leathers was a good idea. Even though his top was still long sleeved he felt much more exposed, the thin fabric not acting as much of barrier. He tried not to think of how he’d gawked at what she’d been wearing. So simple yet she wore it with such ease, a white shirt that flowed over her and beneath those leggings he could see just how strong her legs had become. The Pendant around her neck had become almost a staple to her appearance, she wore it every day along with a few other shorter chains. All the Jewellery Gold, offsetting the gorgeous light in her hair.

They landed near the river and he placed her down gently. He forgot how to speak. What was he supposed to say? Perhaps he was overthinking this all. Maybe the world would be kind enough to swallow him up in this moment but then -

“I’ve never truly been into town. I’ve been into Velaris, but I’ve never looked around the shops.” She sounded almost unsure of what to say as well,

“I am honoured to be the one to show you around. That is if you want me to, or if you want to wander alone that’s fine also.”

“I’d enjoy walking around with you.” Gwyn said behind a blush. And Azriel knew that whatever had appeared on her face was mirrored in his as he cocked his head,

“Let’s go, then.”

Rows upon rows of shops presented themselves and Azriel felt like he was indeed seeing Velaris for the first time as Gwyn held in her awe. They’d started at the rainbow which had been like a fever dream. Azriel watched as Gwyn took in all the colours and music, stopping to see art along the walls.

“It’s stunning.” She breathed,

“Are you artistic?” He asked,

“Not really, but my sister was. She’d dressed the temples for all the ceremonies and studied the art along the walls in the catacombs of Sangravah in her free time. She would have loved it here.”

“Could you venture outside the temple?”

“Sometimes, but we stayed there most of the time. I think I was always scared of leaving given how poorly my mother was treated outside its walls.” Azriel had some kind of understanding of this. He’d found comfort in being alone and away from judgement of others. Gwyn spoke again, “My sister though, always loved venturing beyond, one night she dragged me from by bed and took me to this Pool of Starlight,” Azriel knew of this, knew that the Spring Court had this strange phenomenon, not just from Feyre’s stories but because when Tamlin and Rhysand had been friends, centuries ago, the pool of Starlight was their meeting place, “And I don’t think I’d ever experienced something so beautiful, until I came here.”

“Just wait till you see Starfall.” He answered.

They talked of everything and nothing. She loved talking about her sister and what her life in Sangravah had been like and Azriel had shared stories of his life with her too. How him and his family had wreaked havoc among Velaris in their early years. He realised that he’d never been so open with someone before, had never wanted to share his life but Gwyn’s words, _your story deserves to be told,_ was running through his head, and he’d believed her.

——

Azriel wanted to exist in these moments forever; After a few hours of strolling around, the two had visited a small food vendor and sat on the bank by the river a little distance away from the city centre. It had been such a beautiful day but now with sun shining bright overhead, watching Gwyn admire the river and the boats that passed by, he decided he’d do anything for the female in front of him.

It was quieter here, only a few fae walked past every so often, but it was bliss. The never needed to exchange words to enjoy each other’s company and today was no different. Something caught Gwyn’s attention as she approached the shallow wall. She’d stood with such grace and looked into the river. Azriel silently followed her realising she was watching some of the bigger fish that swam through the river.

“I haven’t seen Koi fish in years,” She said, now sitting on the wall, dangling her feet off the edge, “There was a small river that ran past the temple and they lived there, but there always seemed to be less and less every time we went to go and see.” Azriel was content to listen to her talk so he waited for her to continue, “I found out later that during Amarantha’s years we’d lost livestock because magic had been running out. I didn’t think I’d ever get to see them again.”

Azriel sat next her, throwing bits of bread into the river for them to eat. When they all swam to fight for the piece of bread, Gwyn let out a small giggle. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard, and he knew he’d been staring for too long when she looked to him and met his eyes.

It was so quick that if he’d blinked, he would have missed it, but Gwyn glanced at his lips at the smile that was forming there and then dragged her gaze back to his eyes. Was she… did she want to kiss him? He couldn’t breathe. Of course, he wanted to kiss her but before he could move, before he could ask if he could, he heard a soft voice coming from behind him.

“Azriel?” She asked. And he turned, reluctantly, to see her on the path a few paces away. To the voice that had called him.

He realised Elain had likely not seen that he was sat with Gwyn, his wings blocking her from Elain’s immediate view, so when she approached the pair and realised the Shadowsinger was not alone he could see a small shift in her mood.

All the thoughts left his mind as Elain beheld Gwyn and her attention caught on the necklace that hung around the priestess’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry :)   
> I really liked writing this although it basically reads as a script because of the amount of dialogue, so oops :)   
> Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger too :) I wonder what's gonna happen next ;) 
> 
> Anyway let me know if you liked it x I feel like I spent ages writing this chapter and I've convinced myself it's not very good so sorry if it's wordy and stuff.
> 
> Also I wanted to share the Spotify playlist I listen to while writing this :) I make playlists based on ACOTAR characters and this is my Azriel playlist - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZyMLPlIYtYwlt8bmrRjKN?si=fGoQ8ozgTKGUnX6rDkWM-g

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this, I randomly sat down and planned this entire fic (it's around 12 chapters long) and I'm so excited to write it. I must admit I have not got a strong affiliation on either Elriel/ Gwynriel ship. I think the beauty of Sarah's writing is that it has left it very open, so I just wanted to say that I'm not dismissing Elriel as a ship. In fact I'm in the midst of writing another fic in which Elain and Az are endgame so... Just looks like, I'm an indecisive butterfly. 
> 
> The reason I went with Gwynriel for this story though is because I kept seeing this scene in my head, which will come up in one of the end chapters, and I knew I had to write it. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys liked :)


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